TARAKANITA

udah lama banget gue gak buka blog ini apalagi bikin new post.
kirakira udah setaun lebih lah gue gak buka.
tapi sekarang gue mau ngepost lagi, mumpung ada waktu luang.

anyway.. waktu luang..
hmm susah kyaknya dapet waktu luang semenjak kuliah.
bukannya gue sok atau gimana garagara jadi mahasiswi.
tapi ini tentang suatu kampus yang bernama TARAKANITA .
setiap orang nanya gue kuliah dimana, and gue jawab Tarakanita,
kayaknya ada background suara petir gitu deh.

gimana enggak?
jadwal kuliah sukasuka dosen. bisa pagi jam 7 sampe stengah 4.
padahal mustinya jam 10 sampe jam 12.
kalo telat dikit aja, gak di absen. atau dosen minta cd/dvd langka!
uang kuliah puluhan juta. uang semesteran bisa beli motor.
pake heels gak boleh yang pendek, rambut gak boleh dicepol.
daaaannnn maaassiiihhh baanyaakk laaggiii . . .

udah gitu lingkungan 90% perempuan! kecuali petugas atau dosen.
liat kiri, kanan, depan, belakang.. semua perempuan!

tugas seabrekabrek banyaknya.
gue bukan tipe orang rajin, jadi gak semua tugas gue kerjain.
malahan waktu semester satu nilai harian gue ratarata rendah.
abis gue keburu ilfeel liat seabrek tugas begitu. pengen pingsan aja.

well.. gue kyaknya musti tahan banting kuliah disini.
apalagi baru kali ini gue diajar disekolah katolik yg disiplin banget.
mudamudahan ntar gue bisa jadi sekretaris yang mantab deh.
yang banyak orang and perusahaan terkemuka cari. cihui.
gak bakal siasia kan gue stress dulu selama 3taun?!

it's not over

Sorry for what I've done to you.
Can you forgive me?
For you, it's over. but for me, it's not over.
I still love you. But you?
All our memories.. Happiness and loneliness.
Tears.. Smile.. Cry.. Laugh..
Please come back! I miss you a lot.
As I've said it's not over. For me "past is past".
If you're dissapointed sorry.
I've cried for you. I laughed for you.
I've changed just for you.
Now I'm alone just because of you.
Now I'm alone without you.

If I die today.. What will you do?
Come after? or just pretend not affected?

I love you, after you love me.
I wish I'm a grass.. so, i can cut my self.
You're important to me.
I don't know if I'll be okay without you.
I never realized that you traded everything just for me.
My only wish for now.. To be with you.
This summer had been my worst nightmare.
With this life of mine, everything had change.
You remove my worries. Now I've throw my dreams.
But all is crap.. plenty lies.. your not here!
I'm alone waiting for you to come back.
I know you can tell that "i love you".
And I know you can feel it too.

But it's over ..

I feel relieved after writing.
Thanks for reading this post.

Ujian Nasional

selama 14taun gue sekolah, tanggal 22-25maret adalah hari yang menentukan.
yeah menentukan semuanyaa. banyak hal.
kerja and kuliah pasti diminta ijazah SMA. tapi kalo paket C..???
apa iyaa masa depannya baguss..?? gak samasekali, pasti kena blacklist!
yang lebih parah lagi adalah.. angkatan gue gak ada lagi paket C !!
kalo gak lulus?? yaaa ngulang kyak gak naik kelas.
berapa malunya? berapa duit yg bakal keluar?

gue takut!! itu semua ada di pikiran gue!!
gue gak mau ngulang! gue mau lulus and lanjut kuliah!
gue mau bikin bangga bonyok dengan prestasi gue!
meskipun gak seberapa, yang penting mereka bisa senyum!
gue jiper pas inget senior senior gue pada gak lulus!

Tuhaaaann..
kalo pun emang nanti aku gak lulus, tolong kuatin aku!
kuatin hati aku! jangan sampe ada rasa iri di hati aku!
tutup telinga aku disaat semua orang omongin akuu!
tapi kalo aku lulus.. aku akan bersyukur banget Tuhan..
apalagi kalo semua temen ku lulus, gak bisa di ungkapin!!
Kau yang tau isi hati kami..

hoaah, gue kadang kalo lagi belajar suka kyak sinting!
tibatiba nguap sambil teriak.. tautau udah di lantai..
pernah purapura mati juga wakakakakakk!
sintinglaah pkonya..

well.. gue butuh doa kalian semuaa.
saat mau makan, mau tidur, pkonya pas mau doaa.
selipkan dikit aja doa buat kita semua biar lulus 100%.
doamu berarti banget buat kita semuaa!

opportunity

I do not know why I keep giving you a chance.
maybe I already love you too deeply.
so sick when you make the same mistake!
but I do not care what anyone else says.
they only know the relationship while.
an easy walk away.
if that's what I feel, certainly from the first I've left you.
I will not cry for you. and not only because of hurt you.
and now you know how deep this feeling for you.

you are often lied to me, did not appreciate me.
even you underestimate me.
after you do it all, you scolded me.
I am a stupid woman?
yeah, exactly so.
but when I saw your eyes, your deeds, and you struggle ..
I was relieved pain.

I want to be with you.
always together ..
do not know how long survive.
I'm sure, if one day we split up ...
you will always be in my memory.
because you always make me laugh and cry.
I'm sorry dear. because I'm selfish and so stubborn

2009

banyak banget kejadian yang heboh d taun lalu.
heboh menyenangkan and menyedihkan.
misalnya aja party seventeen gue april lalu.
temen gue dari SD, SMP, SMA sampe alumni pada dateng.
keluarga gue juga lengkap. brotha gue hadir disana.
benerbener bahagia banget gue d hari itu!
lumayan ada 27 kado. and acaranya berjalan lancar.
yang terpenting adalah brotha gue dateng.

gak cuma party seventeen yang berkesan.
ada lagi. contohnya kisah pantai anyer.
disana gue bikin seorang pria nangis terseduseduuu.
gue males bangeeet cerita tentang dia. hell yeah.
yang paling wooww disana adalah kisah cinta gue. halaah!
tapi emang iya sih. itulah awal mula hubungan gue and dia.
disana kita berenang, timpuk pasir, bikin tato, dan lain lain.
gue sampe lupa ada cowo cengeng yang ngeliatin kita.
sempet mikir sih palingan ini cuma CinLok sesaat ajaa.
ternyata nggak! udaah di jakarta pun kita tetep deket.
sampe akhirnya kita jadian tanggal 29Juni.
and hubungan itu teruss bertahan sampe sekarang.

itu kisah gue yang menyenangkan laah.
ada lagi nih kisah apa yaa?
gatau musti sedih atau seneng. tapi gue legaaa.
hahahahahaa apasih.
ini tentang waria yang bernama Anthonius DanuTirta.
manusia cemen yang bisanya ngebacot doang di belakang.
yaa dia exboy juga sih but ga pantes d bilang exboy.
d sebut sampah lebih cocok kyaknya sihh.
gue kejam? kelewatan? keterlaluan?
menurut gue and sobatsobat gue sih nggak.
karna gak cuma itu yang udah dia lakuin.
yaa emang kita ga boleh dendam. but itu bukan dendam.
itu cuma pelajaran yang harus dia inget terus.

masi banyak kenangan di taun lalu.
paling menyedihkan adalah yang gue kabur dari rumah.
gue gatau mau kemana. mau ngapain.
jalan tanpa tujuan. ampe nyasar gatau dimanaa.
yang gue rasain cuma perih and gamau d temuin sama sapapun.
tapi akhirnya yolan temuin gue and ngajak ngomong.
tetep gue kekeh gamau pulang kerumah.
sampe akhirnya cowo gue turun tangan and komplotan ama yolan.
mereka bawa nyokap ke depan gue. akhirnya gue pulang kerumah.

sbnernya masi banyak kisah gue. tapi skip yang gak perlu d publish.
but gue bersyukur d kasih kesehatan and terus disertain Tuhan.
biasanya tiap taun adaaa ajaaa penyakit gue ampe ke rumah sakit.
tapi gue yakin. Tuhan tau semua isi hati gue.
apa yang gak pernah gue liat ataupun dengar, itu yang Dia sediain.
Dia akan ngasih gue pelajaran yang lebih berharga lagi d taun ini.

complicated

Life's like this

That's the way it is

'Cause life's like this

That's the way it is

Chill out, whatcha yelling for?

Lay back, it's all been done before

And if, you could only let it be, you will see

I like, you the way you are

When we're, driving in your car

And you're, talking to me one on one, but you become

Somebody else, round everyone else

Watchin' you back, like you can't relax

You try to be cool, you look like a fool to me

tell me

Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?

I see the way you're

Actin' like you're somebody else, gets me frustrated

And life's like this you

You fall, and you crawl, and you break

And you take, what you get, and you turn it into

Honestly you promised me I'm never going to find you fakin'

No no no

You come, over unannounced

Dressed up, like you're something else

Where you, are and where it's at you see, you're making me

Laugh out, when you strike a pose

Take off, all you're preppy clothes

You know, you're not fooling anyone, when you become

Somebody else, round everyone else

Watchin' you back, like you can't relax

You try to be cool, you look like a fool to me

tell me

Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?

I see the way you're

Actin' like you're somebody else, gets me frustrated

And life's like this you

You fall, and you crawl, and you break

And you take, what you get, and you turn it into

Honestly you promised me I'm never going to find you fakin'

no no no

mikrolet

gue hampir ga pernah naik angkot kemanapun gue pergi.

biasanya taksi, mobil sendiri, motor, paling merakyat yaa ojeklaah.

semenjak ama my lovely krucil gea, dia ngasih gue banyak pengalaman baru.

banyak banget malaaah. contohnya : naik mikrolet !

awalnya gue ga pernah mau. panas, sempit, bnyak copet, bau.

yaampun belagu banget yaah gue. tapi emang bgitu kan. hahahaaa.

dia bilang "gimana lu mau irit? gimana mau mandiri? gimana blablablaaa??"

gue cuma jawab "emang ngirit cuma naik itu? mandiri emang harus angkot?"

tiap dia nasehatin gue, gue slalu jawab and ga pernah diem.

akhirnya datanglaah yolan si beruang madu nasehatin gue jugaa.

gue terpojok and ngalah. merekapun bersukacita senantiasa. halaah.

setelaah hampir tiap hari denger ocehan akhirnya gue naik angkot !!

sumpek, sesak, mual, sempit !! benci banget gue suuumpaaaah!!
sekali, tiga kali, enam kali, lapan kali. hoooh yaudalah biar gea seneng!
but kok lamalama asik juga sih. bukan angkotnya yang asik yaaah.
tapi suasananya. maybe gea yang bikin gue ngakak mulu di angkot.
sampe sekarang tiap gue di angkot ngakak muluu.
ada ajaaa bahan buat diketawain. gue aja bingung bisa begitu.
pkonya gue jadi suka naik mikrolet. meskipun arah buat kerumah gue jarang.
angkot M38 namanyaaa. hahaa. udah gitu kalo turun, jauh lagi jalan kerumah.
tapi tetep aja kalo ngantuk and pusing, gue ga bisa naik mikrolet.
gue salut deh ama banyak anak ips yang jago merakyat !