it's not over

Sorry for what I've done to you.
Can you forgive me?
For you, it's over. but for me, it's not over.
I still love you. But you?
All our memories.. Happiness and loneliness.
Tears.. Smile.. Cry.. Laugh..
Please come back! I miss you a lot.
As I've said it's not over. For me "past is past".
If you're dissapointed sorry.
I've cried for you. I laughed for you.
I've changed just for you.
Now I'm alone just because of you.
Now I'm alone without you.

If I die today.. What will you do?
Come after? or just pretend not affected?

I love you, after you love me.
I wish I'm a grass.. so, i can cut my self.
You're important to me.
I don't know if I'll be okay without you.
I never realized that you traded everything just for me.
My only wish for now.. To be with you.
This summer had been my worst nightmare.
With this life of mine, everything had change.
You remove my worries. Now I've throw my dreams.
But all is crap.. plenty lies.. your not here!
I'm alone waiting for you to come back.
I know you can tell that "i love you".
And I know you can feel it too.

But it's over ..

I feel relieved after writing.
Thanks for reading this post.

Ujian Nasional

selama 14taun gue sekolah, tanggal 22-25maret adalah hari yang menentukan.
yeah menentukan semuanyaa. banyak hal.
kerja and kuliah pasti diminta ijazah SMA. tapi kalo paket C..???
apa iyaa masa depannya baguss..?? gak samasekali, pasti kena blacklist!
yang lebih parah lagi adalah.. angkatan gue gak ada lagi paket C !!
kalo gak lulus?? yaaa ngulang kyak gak naik kelas.
berapa malunya? berapa duit yg bakal keluar?

gue takut!! itu semua ada di pikiran gue!!
gue gak mau ngulang! gue mau lulus and lanjut kuliah!
gue mau bikin bangga bonyok dengan prestasi gue!
meskipun gak seberapa, yang penting mereka bisa senyum!
gue jiper pas inget senior senior gue pada gak lulus!

Tuhaaaann..
kalo pun emang nanti aku gak lulus, tolong kuatin aku!
kuatin hati aku! jangan sampe ada rasa iri di hati aku!
tutup telinga aku disaat semua orang omongin akuu!
tapi kalo aku lulus.. aku akan bersyukur banget Tuhan..
apalagi kalo semua temen ku lulus, gak bisa di ungkapin!!
Kau yang tau isi hati kami..

hoaah, gue kadang kalo lagi belajar suka kyak sinting!
tibatiba nguap sambil teriak.. tautau udah di lantai..
pernah purapura mati juga wakakakakakk!
sintinglaah pkonya..

well.. gue butuh doa kalian semuaa.
saat mau makan, mau tidur, pkonya pas mau doaa.
selipkan dikit aja doa buat kita semua biar lulus 100%.
doamu berarti banget buat kita semuaa!

opportunity

I do not know why I keep giving you a chance.
maybe I already love you too deeply.
so sick when you make the same mistake!
but I do not care what anyone else says.
they only know the relationship while.
an easy walk away.
if that's what I feel, certainly from the first I've left you.
I will not cry for you. and not only because of hurt you.
and now you know how deep this feeling for you.

you are often lied to me, did not appreciate me.
even you underestimate me.
after you do it all, you scolded me.
I am a stupid woman?
yeah, exactly so.
but when I saw your eyes, your deeds, and you struggle ..
I was relieved pain.

I want to be with you.
always together ..
do not know how long survive.
I'm sure, if one day we split up ...
you will always be in my memory.
because you always make me laugh and cry.
I'm sorry dear. because I'm selfish and so stubborn